May
20, 2004
On May 20, 2004, my wife and I were invited
to a Tzu Chi event in celebration of Mother's Day. The youth
group performed all the programs fabulously. Yet the show
that touched my heart and soul the most was "Tzu Ching
Sharing," during which many youths described their mothers'
profound love. As I was watching it, tears streamed incessantly
down my cheeks while my recollection of my mom, mixed with
remorse, floated within my tormented heart.
I came to the States in 1937 and have stayed here for 67 years
since then. When my mom passed away, I was going through a
most difficult situation which had refrained me from returning
home for her services. By the time I was finally able to return
home and visit her grave in 1980, the place was completely
desolate. In spite of my belated efforts to renovate the cemetery
to atone one millionth of my sin, I could never reverse the
fact of being an undutiful son, and neither could mom ever
awake from her grave again. The indescribable grief I have
experienced must be shared by all sons and daughters when
they realize it's too late to repay their parents' love and
kindness.
Since mom's love is higher than heaven,
the foremost wholesome deed is filial piety.How could I read
through the filial pages of The Book of Poetry, while feelings
of guilt penetrated my whole heart.
In the year that I came to the America,
Mom sent me on boat with tears filled in her eyes, And I,
sobbing hard to let go of attachment. Feeling endless regret
after the permanent separation, I fought hardship to survive
on another's land. After ten years' struggle to make things
happen, when came stunning news that loving mom left the world,
I lamented to heaven to no avail.
Returning home in 1998, I found the
family broken and graveyard abandoned. Had I known this life
would become one of remorse, I would rather abandon success
to stay by mom's side. She entered the door of the Way of
Buddhism, Joyfully doing good deeds, abstaining from eating
meat, to fulfill her vows and to repay her love, forever I
will give of myself to benefit all people.
