| Ah-yi,
the Cripple |
 |
Text and Photographs by Lai Li-chun
Translated by Wu Hsiao-ting
Ah-yi's
hands and feet warped and twisted like branches, caught people's
attention. But, instead of shying away from people, he enthusiastically
said hello to everyone. When a Tzu Chi volunteer asked him to
sing to an audience, he said shyly, "I can't sing."
But barely had he finished his sentence when we noticed him gliding
into a tune that no one but him could understand.
It was at a year-end blessing party for Tzu
Chi community volunteers that I first saw Wu Cheng-yi. When a
Tzu Chi volunteer carried him out of a car, I caught a glimpse
of his skinny, bamboo-like legs and badly twisted hands and feet.
His unusual appearance caught people's attention and made them
look at him curiously. But he did not seem to care about it at
all and still said hello to everyone enthusiastically. When he
opened his mouth, two rows of uneven teeth with two missing front
teeth were revealed, adding all the more to his simple, unsophisticated
air.
When Tzu Chi volunteers led group activities,
Ah-yi (Wu Cheng-yi's nickname) participated in them with more
vigor than anyone else. Although he was already fifty-eight years
old, he was as innocent as a child. When a Tzu Chi volunteer asked
him to sing a song to the audience, he said shyly, "I can't
sing." But barely had he finished his sentence when we noticed
him gliding into a tune that no one but him could understand.
He sang it with such force and concentration that the veins in
his neck stood out. His zealous performance drew thunderous applause
from the audience.
Born handicapped
Ah-yi's optimism and cheerfulness inspired
me to pay him a visit. Located right on a busy road in the city
of Hsintien, the house he lived in was filled with the noise of
street traffic. Ah-yi was sitting at the door, where he usually
sits from morning till night, guarding the house like a door god.
His mother had just returned from collecting garbage in the streets.
There were still raindrops on her clothes.
"It's raining, so I came home early today."
Mrs. Wu was nearly eighty years old but still looked hale and
hearty. "Heaven pities me for having to take care of my little
boy, so it would not have me fall sick." When she smiled,
she looked like Maitreya, the future Buddha, who is famous for
his ear-to-ear grin.
Ah-yi and his mother have only each other to
depend on. Ever since he was confined to a wheelchair six or seven
years ago, he has had to rely on his mother for his daily necessities.
"Every day I just sit here watching television
or chatting with my mom over tea." Having lived like this
for several years, he has long grown used to the monotony of such
a life. "So many years have passed, but my mom still loves
me and dotes on me as if I were still a little boy." He pointed
at the dark-green tweed cap he was wearing. "Mom bought this
for me to keep me warm. Isn't it beautiful?" His face shone
with immeasurable pride.
According to Mrs. Wu, Ah-yi was born with deformed
hands and feet. His grandfather once wanted to give him away,
but she could not bear to part with him. Moved by her tearful
pleading, her father-in-law gave in and agreed to keep the baby.
"Although he was a cripple, he was still my child and a part
of me. I resolved to bring him up no matter what hardships I might
have to go through." Her insistence saved the baby's life.
Every time their neighbors saw Ah-yi, they
would point at him and whisper. "Both of his parents are
whole of limb. How come they gave birth to such a cripple? They
must have done bad things in their previous lives." "Maybe
there is some problem with the location of their house [according
to Chinese geomancy]." "Maybe the house disagrees with
him?" Every word the gossipy neighbors said pierced his mother's
heart like a thorn.
Once
Mrs. Wu looked everywhere for a doctor who could find the cause
of her son's deformity and cure it. On one occasion she heard
that there was a spiritual medium who could divine one's fortune
with remarkable accuracy. She brought Ah-yi to him to seek his
advice. "Your child is being punished for the bad deeds he
did in his previous life," said the medium. "He did
something wrong, and now he has to pay for it." Hearing those
words, tears streamed down her cheeks. She knew then that her
child was doomed to be a cripple and that nothing could have been
done to change the fact.
The pride of a mother
After Mrs. Wu came back from consulting the
spiritual medium, for a long while tears would dim her eyes whenever
she saw her son. Seeing her cry, Ah-yi would burst into tears
too. But as the days went by and Ah-yi grew up, his mother gradually
brought herself to terms with the cruel fact. "I have resigned
myself to destiny. It was my decision to keep him, so I should
try to bring him up with a cheerful heart. Fortunately, he has
always been thoughtful and respectful to me, and I never have
to worry about him much."
She said proudly that when he was still very
young, he would help her cook, do the laundry, collect firewood,
and feed the family's pigs and ducks. Although he could only walk
on his knees, he moved quite quickly and helped out a lot in the
family.
Ah-yi's brothers and sisters had all gotten
married and left home--only Ah-yi stayed on. Seeing that his parents,
who earned their living by doing odd jobs here and there, were
growing weaker with age, Ah-yi decided to open a grocery store
to share their burden. He made phone calls to place orders with
wholesalers.
"Although he never went to school, he
knew how to do arithmetic and keep accounts. He's really smart."
Turning up her thumb, Mrs. Wu praised him heartily. "That's
nothing," said Ah-yi shyly. "I watch TV and learn a
thing or two from it."
"Why did you close the store if your business
was so good?" I asked. "People shoplifted from my store
so often that I lost more than I earned," he answered helplessly.
"I just had to shut it down."
"Those shoplifters stole from our store
again and again because they thought that Ah-yi was disabled and
it was easy to bully him," said Mrs. Wu angrily. She had
caught those thieves red-handed several times and had scolded
them, but they did not stop pilfering from the shop. "They
just ignored me. They were really bad!"
With the store shut down, Ah-yi and his parents
could only go back to doing odd jobs to earn their bread.
Day in and day out
As Ah-yi advanced in years, he gradually lost
the ability to move about. First his knees gave way, then he found
himself completely paralyzed from his waist down. He had to rely
on others for his daily needs. What was worse for the family was
that his father was then paralyzed by a stroke. With two patients
to take care of, his mother had a really hard time. Fortunately
someone who knew their situation told Tzu Chi about it, and the
foundation then provided monthly financial support to tide them
over their difficulties.
Ever since Ah-yi's father passed away, mother
and son have had only each other to rely on. Because Ah-yi lost
his ability to move about, Mrs. Wu has had to tend to him like
a child. She puts him in diapers as he cannot go to the toilet
by himself.
When it gets too hot, Ah-yi usually wears only
a piece of cloth around his lower parts. His mother puts a cloth
on his chair for him to urinate and defecate on. She cleans the
cloth for him every day.
At first Ah-yi felt this very undignified,
but he knew that it was something that couldn't be helped. "My
brothers and sisters all have their own families to take care
of, and my mother, being over eighty years old, no longer has
the strength to carry me about. So that's just the way it has
to be."
Because he cannot move by himself, Mrs. Wu
often has to get up in the middle of the night to turn him in
bed or change diapers for him. She has not had a night of uninterrupted
sleep for many years.
"Mom is very old now," Ah-yi said
helplessly. "It's bad enough that I can't take care of her,
not to mention that I still need her to look after me. I feel
ashamed just thinking about that." He once thought of spending
the rest of his life in a nursing home to take the burden away
from his mother, but she refused to accept such an idea. "What
if he isn't properly cared for there? Unless I die, I will not
give him up to other people no matter how hard life has been on
us."
Mrs. Wu knows very well that it is impossible
for her to take care of him forever. She is getting older and
one day she will need to be taken care of. "I don't dare
even think about what will happen to us in the future." She
said that as long as she has her son to keep her company, she
is as contented as could be.
Beauty resides in
the heart
Ah-yi and his mother had been recipients of
financial aid from Tzu Chi for some time when they learned that
Tzu Chi was in need of money to build hospitals. They immediately
asked the foundation to stop giving them relief payments, hoping
that the money could be used for the construction of the hospitals.
Now the two of them live on the little money Mrs. Wu earns by
collecting garbage and supplementary benefits provided by the
government. Although life is hard, they are content with the way
it is.
Mrs. Wu even became a Tzu Chi volunteer. Every
day she visits people in her neighborhood to raise money for the
construction of the Tzu Chi hospitals. "I have always wanted
to do something for Tzu Chi. Their volunteers have been helping
us for more than ten years. They come to see us every month. When
Ah-yi had a cold a while ago, they took him to a doctor. If it
weren't for them, I don’t know what we would do."
When a major earthquake hit Taiwan in September
1999, they learned from television reports that the disaster had
made many people homeless, and so they even donated their meager
income to Tzu Chi to help the survivors. Actually, their life
is no easier than that of an earthquake victim, but Ah-yi said,
"Mom and I are alone in this world and we don't need to save
much as we have no children to think of, but those earthquake
victims have to take care of their children and families. They
need help more than we do."
* * * * *
In his works The Living World and Full of Goodness,
Chuan Chou, an ancient Chinese philosopher, described many deformed,
ugly and misshapen people who were hunchbacked, bandy-legged or
terribly malformed. But Chuan Chou said a lot of good words about
these people. In his eyes, "A person who has good thoughts
and does good deeds can never be ugly." As long as a person's
heart is full of goodness, beauty will shine from his face and
draw people to him.
I think Ah-yi serves as a good example. He
has grown to be kind and good because of his mother's unfailing
love. During our conversation, Mrs. Wu talked contentedly of her
child's virtues, never for a moment pitying herself or complaining
of the misery fate had inflicted on her. She showed the greatness
of a mother's love. It is just as she told us: "Even though
he's a cripple, he's still my child and a part of me!"
