| The
Ultimate Giving - An Everlasting Smile |
 |
By Chang Hsu-yi
Translated by Han Chuang/Terry Chiou, Boston, MA
To my dear family:
I know you will find it hard to bear when the doctor removes my
organs. But I hope that you will share my happiness because it
will be the time when my vow is fulfilled.
-- Lin
Yi-ling --
"What else can I give?" asked Yi-ling
right after she signed the organ donor agreement at the Heart
Lotus palliative care unit in the Tzu Chi General Hospital, Hualien.
Live with dignity
At the age of twenty-one,
Lin Yi-ling was a student in the School of Social Work and Family
Studies, University of British Columbia, Canada. At this vivid
time of her life, she developed an abdominal pain in April, 2000.
Initially her doctor felt it was from a sports injury, so she
and her family did not pay any attention to it. However by the
end of May she developed jaundice and her pain was later diagnosed
as a neural tumor.
Her grandfather, a medical doctor, immediately
asked Yi-ling to come back to Taiwan for therapy. Not wanting
to worry her family, she did not complain about the pain after
an eight-hour surgery. After the operation, she returned to Canada
for chemotherapy.
Her mother was completely overwhelmed when
she found out that Yi-ling had cancer. Fortunately, Shih Hui-chuan,
Yi-ling's aunt who happened to be a Tzu Chi commissioner, went
to Canada and accompanied her through the difficult chemotherapy.
"She could not stop vomiting after each
cycle of chemotherapy," Hui-Chuan said painfully with an
emotional choke and tears in her eyes, "and quite often the
pain caused her to roll on the ground. In a short time she lost
more than ten kilograms."
When two months of chemotherapy did not improve
Yi-ling's condition, her mother brought her back to Taiwan and
they visited all the major hospitals in Kaohsiung and Tainan.
The doctors could not do anything, so her family had to seek alternatives.
She tried organic food therapy, unapproved herbal medicine, and
she even practiced Chi in a mountain retreat.
Seeing their loving granddaughter tortured
by the painful illness, her grandparents were deeply worried.
Under no circumstances would her grandfather give up the slightest
chance and let her leave the world. On the other hand, her grandmother
could not bear with the fact that doctors continuously made cuts
and inserted tubing in her granddaughter's body.
In tears the two elders argued angrily,
pouring their pent-up emotions on each other. With a sigh her
grandfather finally yielded. Yi-ling gently said to her grandmother,
"Thank you for letting me live with dignity."
Joyful giving
As a member of the
Tzu Chi Youth Association in Canada, Yi-ling's final wish was
to go back to Tzu Chi when her disease entered its final, terminal
stage. The "journey home" from Tainan to Hualien took
seven hours. She was admitted to the Heart Lotus palliative care
unit on January 9.
As soon as she arrived at Tzu Chi Hospital,
Yi-ling informed the social worker of her eagerness to be an organ
donor. After she signed the organ donation and autopsy agreements,
the first thing she asked the social worker was, "What else
can I give?"
"Since I've decided to donate my organs,
it'll be a pity if I only donate my corneas and heart valves.
It will certainly be better if more people can use my organs."
People around her admired her free and easy-going attitude.
In addition to donating her organs, Yi-ling
did not forget to spread the seeds of love. "After passing
away, people can donate their organs or whole bodies for others
or for medical education," she said weakly. "This can
benefit people."
After she was admitted to the Heart Lotus ward,
volunteers noticed that she loved music. She played piano and
cello, and she even composed music. On the afternoon of January
10, hospital volunteer Yen Hui-mei and some overseas Tzu Chi Youth
members assembled a string instrument group to play for her. Although
tortured by her painful disease and emaciated appearance, her
smiles never faded. With her palms folded and eyes closed, she
enjoyed a wonderful time.
As the violins played, Yi-ling's mother approached
her bedside to hold her hands and kiss her cheek, and she gently
said in her ears, "I love you." Tears flooded Mama Lin's
eyes, and Yi-ling gave her mother a gentle smile. In peace, the
two enjoyed the concert.
In addition to music, the Tzu Chi Youths
gave her a hand-made model of the Abode of Still Thoughts. This
was to fulfill her wish to leave the ward and visit the Abode.
Leaving without regrets
Yi-ling kept a grateful
heart at all times. She said, "I'm grateful to have always
met valuable people in my life. I have no regrets at all."
Facing her withering life, she treasured her
remaining time. She said, "When I was healthy I let every
day pass by, but now I know I need to seize every minute and second."
After those words, she immediately turned to
her grandparents. Slowly, word by word, she said, "Thank
you, grandmother, grandfather and aunt, for keeping me company.
Thank you for letting me fulfill my wish to donate my organs.
I know it's hard for you to bear, but I hope that you'll share
my happiness when I give. Thank you all. I love you all."
Long before she finished speaking, her grandparents covered their
faces with handkerchiefs and wept silently.
On the morning of January 15, Yi-ling passed
away in peace. Mama Lin wore Yi-ling's shoes. "I want to
keep on walking for my child on the Path of the Bodhisattvas,"
she said in a determined voice.
